Ultrathought

Everybody hates being put on hold. You call a company – your bank for example to find out your current balance and it takes in excess of 10 minutes to get the information that you require. Not only that, these calls are 9 times out of 10 automated when all you want to speak to is a real person. The worst kind are those that use a voice recognition system that only works if you speak with exceptional clarity; if you have a regional accent then forget it. Worst of all is when these are 0870 numbers, costing you a fortune while you wait.

An American called Paul English has come to our rescue and delivered what anyone who has ever been kept waiting on the line by a call centre has prayed for – a list of ‘cheats’ that will get you through to a real person. Paul became a hero by doing exactly this in his native country. He has started up a project called Get Human, which lists ways to do exactly that – get a human on the phone.

The ‘cheats’ – such as repeatedly pressing a single button – allow customers to evade automated call answering systems so that, within seconds, you are connected to an operator who can handle your query.

However, each system has a different way of being beaten, such as Orange, which will put you through to an employee if, when prompted to enter your own phone number, you instead type random numbers three times.

Here is an excerpt from the list:

You may notice that some of the numbers of companies have 0870 before them. Dialling a number starting 0870 should ring alarm bells as well as the phone. While named National Call rate numbers, they’re more akin to premium rates, costing up to 6p/min, massively more than a normal call. Often, companies will keep you on hold because they earn money from doing just that. And it costs you at the same time.

Often companies have other numbers than 0870s that will enable you to reach the same route. The website SayNoTo0870.com has a searchable ‘alternative number’ database to help you work around the charges. If there’s no alternative number, the next step is to cut the cost of calling 0870s. The first rule is try not to call from your mobile, as that can seriously cost.